10 Ways to Handle Worry

Worry is a mind trying to keep you safe — but it can grow too loud. Here are ten gentle ways to help a child quiet it down.

1. 1

   Name the worry out loud

   Saying it — 'I'm scared about the test' — shrinks a giant blur into something a child can actually look at and handle.

2. 2

   Breathe slower than the worry

   A few long, slow breaths tell the body there's no real danger, and the racing feeling starts to ease on its own.

3. 3

   Let the worry-wave pass

   Fear rises and falls like a wave. 'You don't have to fight it, just let it pass' keeps a child from drowning in it.

4. 4

   Sort real danger from a worry thought

   Most worries are 'what ifs,' not now-things. Asking 'is this happening, or might it?' takes away a lot of the sting.

5. 5

   Make the big worry small

   Break it into the next tiny step. A child can't handle 'the whole future,' but they can handle 'just tomorrow morning.'

6. 6

   Put worries in a box till morning

   A worry jar or a quick chat before bed lets a child set the heavy thoughts down so they don't ride into sleep.

7. 7

   Move your body

   A walk, a jump, a shake-out. Worry lives in the body too, and moving helps burn off the jittery energy it brings.

8. 8

   Remember you've handled hard before

   'You were nervous last time too, and you were okay.' Their own track record is the best proof they'll get through.

9. 9

   Don't rush to rescue every time

   Solving it for them says 'this is too scary for you.' Staying close while they face it says 'you can do hard things.'

10. 10

    Come back to right now

    Naming five things they can see or hear pulls a child out of the scary future and back into the safe present.