10 Ways to Be Grateful

Gratitude isn't a forced 'thank you' — it's a way of noticing the good that's already there. Here are ten small ways to help it grow in a child.

1. 1

   Name one good thing at dinner

   Going around the table for a single high point trains the mind to look for what went right, not just what went wrong.

2. 2

   Thank a person, not just the sky

   Instead of a vague 'I'm grateful,' aim it at someone specific: 'Thanks, Grandma, for the soup.' Real gratitude has a face.

3. 3

   Notice small comforts

   A warm bed, a sunny walk, a favorite song — pointing these out shows a child that the ordinary is full of gifts.

4. 4

   Say what you liked, in detail

   'I loved how you helped me with my shoes' beats a quick 'thanks.' Specifics make the other person feel truly seen.

5. 5

   Write a tiny thank-you note

   A few words on paper turns a fleeting feeling into something a person can keep. It also slows a child down to really mean it.

6. 6

   Be grateful for tricky things too

   The sibling who annoys you also plays with you; the rain you hate waters the garden. Gratitude can hold two truths at once.

7. 7

   Give before you get

   Helping someone else — a card, a chore, a share — is the doorway to feeling thankful for what you have to give.

8. 8

   Pause before you ask for more

   A quick look at what you already have, before wanting the next thing, keeps 'I want' from crowding out 'I have.'

9. 9

   Thank your own body

   'Thank you, legs, for running.' It sounds silly, and it quietly teaches a child to appreciate rather than criticize themselves.

10. 10

    Let gratitude come after the hard feeling

    Don't force it mid-tantrum. First the difficult feeling, then — later, gently — the good. Rushed gratitude isn't real.